Go Fish
by fishoom
Summary: Greed and Envy decide to play a game of cards. As close to crack as you can get. GreedxEnvy -ish. oneshot.


**A/N: Blah, old!fic. But it's not like I have new ones. Enjoy.**

**Go Fish**

"I've been playing this game for twenty years," Envy whined, haphazardly tossing his cards to the coffee table and leaning back onto the ornate rug. Behind him, the cracking flames of the fireplace illuminated little of the room, with Envy's figure abstracting the light's expanse even more. Cocking his head to the side, he raised his hand to his yawning mouth. "...and I'm getting tired off it," he finished, haulting his yawn and casting his gaze to Greed, who was seated on the sofa from across the table. Useless sunglasses were perched on his nose, the firelight gleaming across them. Shifting forward, the man closed his fan of cards and placed them unknowingly into a pool of water, caused by the condensation of his drink.

"Then what do you propose we do?" he asked, echoing the other's yawn from before. "We've been playing this for the longest time and now you get tired of it?"

"Pft," Envy's eyes rolled, "I'm only tired of it because I always win, _Greed_." He said the other's name with great distaste. Greed smirked at his comment.

"Maybe if you didn't cheat you wouldn't always win, hm?" He raised two cards from the wooden surface and flaunted them to the other's face. "How could there be two kings of spades?" Flashing a toothy grin, he laughed as the other attempted to snatch one away. Defeated, the green-haired sin huffed and folded his arms across his chest, unwilling to play one of Greed's idiotic games. One of the two cards dissolved from Greed's hand in a flicker of alchemic light, giving the man the opportunity to form a satisfied smirk.

"And you feel the need to preach to me about cheating? What about those cards you have taped under the table?" Envy accused, directing his finger to an area under the table. With a nonchalant shrug his shoulders, he grinned.

"Ah, well. If we both cheat it's a fair game, right?"

"Whatever," he sighed, resting his head onto his palm and toying with a loose strand of emerald hair. Already he was bored with taunting Greed, which, in his case, was an activity in which he found was generally entertaining, taking quite a lengthy period of time to diminish his interest. He really needed to get out sometime. Maybe Dante would be nice enough for once and allow him to go on a week's vacation. That certainly would never happen.

"Let's play 'Go Fish'," announced Greed offhandedly, who had collected the cards while Envy was in a daze.

"Hm?" Sheepishly he titled his head to the side, wondering why the other would ever want to play such a childish game. About to refuse the man's offer, he thought otherwise. It might be another good hour of entertainment, as he had nothing else to do. "Sure, why not?"

Dealing seven cards each, a light smile assembled on Greed's face as he watched the other scramble to gather all of his cards before they slid to the carpet. Afterwards, Envy fixed his gaze to the man and glared at his smiling face. "What?" he barked, strewing the ruby cards into a fan. Greed's face went blank.

"Why are you always like this?" he exhaled, rubbing his temple with his free hand.

"Maybe because you're always an asshole," he retorted, then averted his eyes back to his cards. They both set down a pair of cards and brushed them to the side. "I'm going first," Envy stated while Greed nodded in agreement. Quirking an eyebrow, he eyed Greed for a moment. "How do I know if you're not cheating?"

"You don't," Greed stared back through his glasses, a smirk toying at his lips. "How do I know if you're not cheating?"

"You don't," the other echoed, raising his cards to his face. He sighed, no longer caring. "Well, do you have any three's?"

"Go fish,"

"Go to hell," Envy scoffed, frowning. He reluctantly withdrew a card from the deck.

"Have any eight's?" Greed asked.

"Go to hell," Envy repeated, this time with a grin. Sighing once again he obtained another card, then laid down a pair over his previous one.

"Jack's?"

"Go to hell," Greed took a swig from his forgotten drink and deposited it back to the table, ice cubes clanking against glass. Envy withdrew a card.

"Have any-" Greed was cut off.

"This is boring," Envy complained, sprawling his cards across the wood. "What else can we do?"

"That's because you're not winning."

"It's boring whether I'm winning or losing, Greed. It's just too simple," he explained flatly while scratching his head. "Well? What else can we do?"

"There's always..." he was grinning like a mad man. Envy flinched at his next words. "Strip poker."

Envy stared with a drunken look on his features. Then, slowly, his mouth formed a devilish grin mirroring the other's.

"Sure. That'd be fun."

"I'll go get the chips."

.end


End file.
